She kissed him because she could, and when he told her not to meet anyone else that evening, she agreed, though she knew she would meet another later. And then another after that. If she didn’t agree, his middle-aged face would collapse into a little-boy pout. Maybe that was why she let his words slip away—he was her brother after all. She liked him and she didn't.
He grabbed her hand a little rough, and she flinched. She didn’t pull away because she knew it had to be temporary. Just like everything else. Like this time in Korea. She hadn't stayed in one place for more than a year for as long as she could remember. Even in Chicago, she’d moved every year it seemed, never satisfied with the apartment, or the rent going too high.
The research fellowship to develop her film script could last a while, but the longer she stayed, the less comfort she felt, although there were moments of stasis where she felt a shaky kind of connection. Like that party with Mina after the Seoul Film Festival. She was able to make small talk with a group of younger filmmakers, which she didn't mind so much with all the alcohol and food that kept appearing. They shared a long series of whiskey shots, which she chose to sip, and talked about her odd, soothing voice, her long, slender fingers. But they didn't know her well enough yet to demand anything in return.
If she stuck around Korea, people would become increasingly curious and demand more of her, tire of her evasions. She didn’t like talking about her script; it hadn’t developed enough since she arrived. Most Koreans would eventually tire of her anyway, given their attention span; they were just as quickly bored as they were intrigued.
Her brother pulled her closer to him on the linoleum floor in the apartment.
“We should measure the windows on the balcony,” he said. “You need some curtains.”
“Let’s do it tomorrow,” she said. “It’s too late now.” In fact, she liked the permanent view of the Bukhan mountains. She didn’t want to obscure it with fabric.
She’d recently rediscovered this brother, along with another older sister, and she knew she had to be careful. He’d almost caught her this morning with Ji-tae the actor, arriving at her apartment just ten minutes after Ji-tae left.
“It’s all in the timing,” Ji-tae had said to her as he ran out the door. “And my ex is due to arrive soon. I know you wanted to see me this weekend, but there’s nothing I can do.”
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